Where's Axl?

Axl Hits VH-1 TONIGHT

2011-11-11T13:51:00.002-05:00

His first interview in 15 years, and he gives it to VH-1? Really? Oprah must be PISSED.

Check out his chest stroke in this teaser.

2007-09-26T09:03:00.000-05:00

Dizzy Gets Busy

Rock-a-licious.

Dizzy Reed has left the homeless shelter to hit the keys this weekend at the Great Lakes Film Fest. In Erie, PA. Not to be confused with Eerie, IN.

Will Axl be in attendance?

Well, with films such as, Deception, Scurvy Dogs, and Fifteen Minutes..., one can only dream.

By the way, if you see a middle-aged yarnhead toting a Casio and Hookers n' Blow paraphernalia alongside of I-80, be sure to lend a brotha a ride.

*sighs* That's our Dizzy.

[photo by G. Chin, courtesy of: http://web.gunsnroses.com/images/news/070312_dizzy_inside.jpg]

[from: http://www.roadrunnerrecords.com/blabbermouth.net/news.aspx?mode=Article&newsitemID=81471]

2007-06-27T10:36:00.000-05:00

Didgeridoonas Wouldn't Have Exploded
An inside source to the Didgeridoonas' Australia can cooler company tells WA? that the products are made of "tough padded canvas" with a "neat leather strap," to keep beverages cool, refreshing, and intact.

The company, which has been losing money due to anti-beer and anti-leather advocates worldwide, plans to capitalize on the recent can-throwing debacle that occurred in Brisbane. GNR frontman and soon-to-be spokesperson for the NutriSystem-HairTrade merger, Axl Rose, was pelted with a can of Australian something - kanga piss, aboriginal blood, whatever - after arriving late to his show on Monday. Halfway through "Welcome to the Jungle," an irate fan threw his can of something onstage, which exploded and sprayed Axl's chest with hot, sticky... kanga piss, aboriginal blood, whatever.

Axl responded by asking a question, "Is that what you want? You want a battle. If you're going to act like that, then you know I don't have to be here," according to Contactmusic.

Um, buddy, I don't think they really want a battle, per se... I mean, kanga piss, though nasty, is no WMD. Nope. Something tells me they just want to listen to $150 worth of songs, which, given that your album costs about $10, means that they have a right to fifteen albums' worth.

Hmm... doing the math, that means... wait, when is Chinese Democracy coming?

Score zero for Axl.
Score the company's entire '05 budget for Didgeridoonas' Australia can cooler company.

Those dudes are marketing geniuses.

[Source: http://www.dailyindia.com/show/152188.php/Axl-Rose-sees-red-after-fan-throws-drink-at-him!
Photo courtesy of: http://www.ptarmiganclothing.com/images/products/69_s_can%20cooler.jpg]

2007-06-22T15:42:00.000-05:00

Axl Gets Made
Axl Rose, the World's Biggest "Sopranos" fan, reportedly requested HBO send him copies of the last three episodes while touring overseas.

When WA? asked Axl his thoughts about the finale, he said, "Dude, 'course Tony got made. I fuckin' did it." Then he growled with laughter and handed us a bust of Tony Soprano fashioned from several pairs of bike shorts and a catcher's mask.

[Courtesy of: http://www.thegauntlet.com/article/172/9030/Guns-N-Roses.html
Photo courtesy of: http://www.gunsnroses.us/news/article.php3?id_article=45]

2007-06-22T15:33:00.000-05:00

I Rotate Axl's Tire
Or rather, I wish I did.

On June 12, Rose kicked off his GNR world tour in Perth, Australia, where he donned a pair of knickers, tore off his shirt, and dedicated the night to former AC/DC frontman Bon Scott.

Then I spanked his belly.
Oh wait. That was just a dream.

Little known fact: in addition to being a huge fan of Scott's, one of Axl's favorite songs is "I'm Not in Love" by 10 CC's.

Take it for what it is.

[Courtesy of: http://93x.com/blog.asp?id=422364&SBID=4444]
[Photo courtesy of http://93x.com/blog.asp?id=422364&SBID=4444]

2007-05-07T13:27:00.000-05:00

Leaks and Lawsuits
Okay, so I took some time off. So effin' sue me. I met a boy, moved to New York, and sold out a little more.

Let me see if I can give you a year's worth of Axl...

After a negative test for rabies, the guard was okay and so was Axl. He toured. He rocked, partied with the stars, and bought out Duane Reade's entire supply of hair grease. And now...

More Chinese Democracy has been leaked. The total is now 4 songs: "There Was a Time," "The Blues," "Chinese Democracy," and "I.R.S." Hmm...perhaps Axl didn't make out so hot on his '06 return? That's what workin on a 1099 to reclaim that $13 mill you lost makin CD will do to you.

[By the way, do NOT post audio clips in your comments, or I'll feed you to my mouse.]

And that's not all. I told you there was a lawsuit: Axl owes more money, apparently $107K to Starlift Logistics in NJ for touring services in '06. What's $13 mill + $107K?

A shitton of money.

[Source: http://www.roadrunnerrecords.com/blabbermouth.net/news.aspx?mode=Article&newsitemID=72001
Source: http://gnrdaily.com/news_detail.asp?id=721
Source: http://www.tmz.com/2007/04/30/guns-n-roses-ued-in-jersey/
Photo courtesy of: http://www.vh1.com/shared/promoimages/bands/r/rose_axl/11092006_pressop/281x211.jpg]

2006-06-27T08:45:00.000-05:00

Bite the Hand that Feeds
Axl was arrested earlier today in Stockholm, where he performed on Monday night.

The problem?

Axl bit a guard on the leg.

Reports say that Axl scuffled with a woman in his hotel lobby, and when police tried to intervene, he bit an officer on the leg.

According to police spokeswoman Towe Hagg, Axl was taken to a holding cell because, "He was deemed too intoxicated to be questioned right away."

Well, maybe if he'd had his trusty O2 tank at his disposal, he wouldn't have been so on edge. Maybe if Sophie Anderton hadn't run off with that punkass Buckethead only to mail him postcards from their holiday in Beirut, he wouldn't have felt so alone.

And maybe if that bitch Stephanie hadn't taken Dylan away from him - Dylan, in all his lovely innocence and beauty, Dylan! who played horsey with him, DYLAN! who had a small lovely set of angel wings around his heart - maybe then Axl wouldn't have been forced to drink Buttery Nipples by himself in the hotel bar, sobbing and seeking out the only one-legged prostitute slinking along the fences of Stockholm's International Hostel.

And maybe if that ho had been happy with what he paid, he wouldn't have had to scuffle. Then maybe he wouldn't have been driven to bite the popo.

But it's only a theory.

[Source: http://www.cnn.com/2006/SHOWBIZ/Music/06/27/sweden.axl.ap/index.html]
[Photo courtesy of: http://hem.passagen.se/snoqalf/photos.html
*Note: This photo does not depict the Stockholm Incident]

2006-06-22T15:39:00.000-05:00

The Meat Papers
[aka: a break from Axl]
You were forewarned: there would be some non-W.A.R. related stuff here.

*This exchange took place on July 29, 2005. First you will read my letter to ground beef. Following is Hamburger Meat's heartfelt response, penned by my pal Mel.

Dear Hamburger Meat,

I am sorry to have to do this, but I think we need some time apart. I know you've been there for me for so many years, but I really think it's time to move on. After seeing you last night in my toilet bowl, after a half an hour of nausea from your undercooked-ness and whatever parasites you may have been carrying, it occurred to me: we're moving in opposite directions. Last night, you were clearly moving up, while I wanted so badly for you to stay down. It finally took me popping a blood vessel in my eye from all the retching to realize that this is just not meant to be.

It's not you, it's me. We've had a lot of good times - you let me eat you in secret while maintaining a facade of vegetarianism so that I could keep my vegan friends happy. You were there on roadtrips, at concerts, at late night burger-fests. You even managed to stay in my life during that 2-day stint in Toronto with Jeff. We've been through everything together - patty melts, North End burgers, South End burgers, mushroom melts, and even steak tartar at that Ethiopian place (yes, you were hot naked). But let's not let the good times we shared cloud the reality that is the essence of us: we're moving farther and farther apart.

Don't cry, Hamburger - I'll always have a special place in my heart for you. Every time my dad throws a veggie burger on the grill, I'll always wonder, "What could have been?" But for now, Darling, I need some time to regroup, some time to reintroduce myself to my old friends - Mushroom, Soy, and Tofu. I'll still see you in passing and have fond thoughts, but I think this time apart will do us good.

Maybe there will be a chance for us, someday, but I don't want us to dwell on that. Find a nice girl - a Viking, perhaps, or a Southerner - someone who really appreciates you for who you are and doesn't want to change you. I wish I could say I'm the one for you, but I think it's obvious I'm not. We're too different: I like Radiohead and you like Kenny Chesney. I like Jon Stewart, you like John Wayne. I like ketchup, you love mustard. Let's let bygones be bygones. The world is our oyster, Hamburger; let's shuck the heck out of it.

With tenderness,

Dear KB,

I think I take offense to that.

Kenny Chesney prefers fried chicken. John Wayne ate buffalo. A hamburger is more the tastes of your cute little indie rock boys that aren't as pretentious as the vegan ones. The cute little ones you really desire, the ones who (like you) have a disdain for Daddy's money and long to subsist on the greasy goodness found on the grills of such dive establishments as Bukowski's and Charlie's.

Come on, you really think I dig listening to Moby and Coldplay? I wouldn't want those overexposed pipsqueaks to enjoy the succulent tastes that I have to offer. What else was I going to do with my life besides offer the world a tasty snack in medium well form (mainly because anyone that doesnt eat their burgers medium well should have their heads examined. Cook me!). If I could find a cure for cancer, get Bush impeached, or prevent Britney Spears from having babies, of course I would. Unfortunately, for now I am but a mere cow and the only thing I look forward to is finding out how I am prepared in the after life.

And what sort of friend were you? I've provided sustenance for centuries and you know you enjoyed sinking your teeth into my carnivorous goodness. Ah, but your pretentious veggie friends could never see. You couldn't pretend to do this radical bit if you enjoyed a bacon & swiss burger now, could you? Its a lot like when Ryan first arrived in Newport and Marissa wouldn't give up her relationship with Luke because he was a more dignified suitor. Of course, he had to slum it with her in the end when all of his friends dissed him because his father was gay.

See? Vegans are much like those popular people in school that you just want to be like, but know you're not. They're also willing to diss you if something bad came out, because owning DVDs of The O.C. and the soundtrack to "On the Line" is pretty much the equivalent of having a gay parent in Newport. And if you're really as liberal as you claim you are, would you really want friends like that?

Oh, KB. Perhaps they made me too rare last night. Or maybe you drank too much (it's not as if you NEVER do that). Like everything in life, we cannot all be perfect. Getting cooked or marinated improperly is much like being a Scientologist. You can't tenderize meats with vitamins, can you?

NO! I always laugh at how you flip back and forth about what is right and wrong (or cool and uncool) oh so easily. Because I know that you always come crawling back to me.

However, enough is enough. I don't want your friendship if it's only on your terms. I hate the South and I've never been to Norway and I find your liberal, open-minded viewpoint appalling. Why would I want you to enjoy my meaty goodness when you spend your time denying my existence in your life or speaking about how you shouldn't enjoy me. It's a lot like Whitney Houston telling Barbara Walters that crack is whack, isnt it? She wanted the viewers to think that she was over that part of her life, when she really was speaking of her addiction as something she loved more than putting corn rows in Bobbi Kristina's hair.

Well this bag of ground beef wants to dance with someone that loves me. Someone like Benjamin McKenzie, that Texas-bred boy just loves piling me up with ketchup and onions and biting down. Something of which I can assure you, will never happen to the likes of your wannabe vegan butt. Jon Stewart adores me without cheese, but your brand of wannabe original politics ain't kosher. And we all know Richard Chamberlain prefers the meat.

You think Kevin Costner is going to serve you up some curried tofu if you snuck into his Montana ranch? I don't think so, Sweetheart.

I can understand if you had religious issues that barred you from enjoying my awesome angus-ness, but babe, you're Catholic and your parents wrapped you in proscuitto as a child. And that was no exotic doll they gave you to sleep with. That was 1.5 pounds of pure Italian sausage with a curly blonde wig on top.

So you may think you're being different. You may think youre being cool. I know you'll want to meet up again in the near future, but I'm not coming back. Getting stuck in your poser belly is the last thing this USDA prime cut wants to do.

Besides, you're technically still employed at Starbucks, capitalist America at its worst. That's nice you offer the choice of free trade coffee now, but really too little and too late. It's a wonderful thing to see all of your people at work in the same conglomerate (oooops, I meant "neighborhood coffee emporium"), you know fighting the system and believing in PETA. Ha! I almost spit out my cud and grass smoothie thinking of you hawking mocha lattes and Norah Jones CDs.

Yeah. And the other day I was in Jersey, sitting on the table in front of Bruce Springsteen and he wanted me to tell you that only meateaters (aka tramps like him) are born to run. So you can take your Gardenburger and hang out with Lauren Bush. I'm hanging with The Boss now.

Think of me the next time you complain how broke you are and then shop at Whole Foods. You know, in the frozen food aisle when you pick up some meatless sausage links. Because if being a carnivore was so nasty, vegans wouldnt be making things out of soy to simulate what I am naturally.

Which makes dining on soy burgers a rather phony act. It's not like I would expect anyone who worked at Starbucks to be phony now, would I?

Good riddance,
Hamburger Meat

[Photo courtesy of: http://www.diabete-abd.be/obesite_la_folie.htm]

2006-06-22T11:52:00.000-05:00

Nice Place to PARTAY
Axl's all over London with a 'leggy blonde' [not Sophie Anderton], but what's more impressive is that he seems to be hard up to visit Kabaret's Prophecy in London's Soho.

Check out Interpics for good pics: www.intertopics.de

It was with Nicky Hilton that he really did the most damage, doing the Electric Slide in the blue room.

Inside the pages of the Mirror, the UK's version of Star but crappier, they wrote that Nicky drank too many 'champers' and bust a move with our boy and Will.i.am. from the Black-Eyed Peas.

[Caveat: Will.i.am.'s collab with Sergio Mendes and Erykah Badu on 'That Heat' is by far the best song of the summer. Gnarls Barkley, consider your ass kicked].

But, even the Mirror couldn't cute up Nicky: 'Those lads can do better...'

[Source: www.mirror.co.uk]
[Source: www.roadrunnerrecords.com/blabbermouth.net/news.aspx?mode=Article&newsitemID=54037]
[photo courtesy of: www.squaremeal.co.uk]

2006-06-13T09:20:00.000-05:00

Race Car Ya Yas
Git your Axl on the hood of a car.

In a momentary lapse of reason, Axl gave an interview to Martin Brundle at the British Grand Prix on Sunday.

Thank God. I'd almost forgotten that hot and deep sandpaper of a voice. Ever since going into exile, the only outlet I've had to listen to that choking, gravelly voice has been my "Making of November Rain" interview on VHS.

Until now. Rewind. Replay. Listen as Axl chortles and says he hopes he doesn't spit up blood. Watch him straddle a Diplomat a la Tawny Kitaen.

[Photo courtesy of http://www.collectr.com/ce/rosea.html
Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LKQxAmVQLiI
Source: http://www.roadrunnerrecords.com/blabbermouth.net/news.aspx?mode=Article&newsitemID=53568]

2006-06-13T08:56:00.000-05:00

Axl Pisses More People Off
Those Brits just don't know how to behave.

Angry British fans pelted the stage in Donnington with plastic bottles and other assorted debris after he twice dodged backstage to fix some 'technical difficulties.'

After the second barrage of water bottles, Axl cancelled his show altogether.

Then he went and fingerblasted Sophie Anderton, so who's laughing now, bitches?

[Photo by: Phillip Massey
Photo courtesy of: http://www.filmmagic.com/ItemListing.aspx?cgl=191037
Source: PR Inside: http://www.pr-inside.com/rose-incites-festival-fan-fury-r7962.htm]

2006-06-09T16:45:00.000-05:00

Tired Ol' Bloke
Looks like Axl has learned nothing from his hiatus.

Take for example, not showing up. You can't not show up to your own show and maintain a happy fanbase. Just ask Clay Aiken. He once missed a show, and a bizarre sect of his middle-aged soccer mom fans took turns extinguishing their cigarettes in his asshole. [Not surprisingly, Clay has never made that mistake again].

None of this bodes well for the future of Guns n' Roses. After appearing at their London Hammersmith show last night over an hour late, the British were restless. No kidding. Hundreds of fans reportedly left the show to catch transportation home.

Our advice? Watch your ass.

[Source: http://www.earvolution.com/2006/06/axl-rose-up-to-his-old-tricks.asp]
[Photo courtesy of: http://www.aftonbladet.se/noje/0601/03/NOJE-03s27-rose-19_368.jpg]

2006-06-09T16:33:00.000-05:00

I Want a New Drug
Axl has been outed. No, not that kind of outing, though I'm sure it crossed Tommy Hilfiger's mind more than once.

According to band Sex Action, who were on the Gn'R bill in Hungary, Axl can't do more than one song without the aid of an oxygen tank.

Which means he's sucking O2 during all those ridiculously paced guitar solos.

This would also explain his impending move to NYC. Because, in addition to giving Page Six a complete hard-on, Axl will have unlimited access to the Jersey shore, which boasts a plethora of classy O2 bars on their boardwalks right next to the monkey bread stands, the surf malls that sell airbrushed tees, and acne-faced pre-teens working up a sweat to Dance Dance Revolution.

[Sources: http://www.entertainmentwise.com/news?id=18219
and http://www.pestiside.hu/archives/axl_roses_offstage_oxygen_tent_outed_by_sex_action_singer002399.php]
[Photo courtesy of: http://www.stereoboard.com]

2006-06-06T09:22:00.000-05:00

Aw, Ain't That Fresh?
Tommy Hilfiger was back at the CFDA Awards in New York, paying homage to his favorite band.

Meanwhile, Axl was given the "Britney Spears Best Use of Cheap Hair Extensions Woven by Kids in Bolivia Out of Old Goat Fibers" award in recognition for personally keeping all those children employed at a reasonable 2 cents per day.

In his acceptance speech, Axl threw a drink into the crowd, screamed "How's that for Chinese democracy, motherfuckers!", then curled up in a ball and cried.

His hair, it should be noted, never moved, except to high-five presenter David Blaine, who then died.

[Source: http://www.style.com/peopleparties/parties/scoop/060406CFDA]
[Photo courtesy of: http://www.gawker.com/news/fashion/the-omen-cfda-awards-178643.php]

2006-05-31T16:10:00.000-05:00

W.W.W.A.R.D.?
GLAM THE FUCK OUT.

"Axl had a muscle spasm probably caused by the slippery stage wings that slowed him down..." according to an email from Team Axl to Sp1at.

But hell, if I was suffering from a muscle spasm in Rio, I'd be dressed to kill too. In gold lame. And a corset-looking-thingy.

Luckily, the spasm didn't stop Axl from catching the next flight home to Cali so that he can make it to Madonna's kick-off show tonight.

[Source: http://www.sp1at.com/]
[Photo courtesy of: http://www.bestweekever.tv/2006/05/30/icymi-bizzaro-axl-spazes-at-rock-n-rio/]
[Check out the Rock in Rio performances: http://www.roadrunnerrecords.com/blabbermouth.net/news.aspx?mode=Article&newsitemID=52965]

2006-05-30T12:53:00.000-05:00

Now that Mommy's Not Around...
It's just been sheer birthday madness for Axl. First it was Rosario Dawson. Now it's noname - except she has one! - British model, Sophie Anderton, at her 29th birthday party.

They made eyes across London's Boujis club, ran to each other's bony arms, then started grinding like monkeys caught in a thick jungle heat.

Lucky for you, Where's Axl? caught some of their dialogue. He's more of a ladies' man than we thought:

W.A.R. [sounding growly]: Hey. Nice tits.
S.A.: Thaaanks.
W.A.R.: So. Whaddya know?
S.A. [girlish laugh]: I had SUCH a crush on you when you did that 'Come to my Jungle' video.
W.A.R.: Oh yeah?
S.A.: Yeah. My mum made me shut off MTV by 7 o'clock because it was my bedtime, but I'd go to sleep dreaming of that stringy hair. And those gangly arms.
W.A.R.: That makes me hard.
S.A.: [tee hee] Hey, what're you doing?
W.A.R.: Checking your tag.
S.A.: Huh?
W.A.R.: Just wanted to see if you were "Made in Heaven."

[The next thing we knew, he was all over her like a bad rash].

[source: http://www.roadrunnerrecords.com/blabbermouth.net/news.aspx?mode=Article&newsitemID=52922]
[photo courtesy of: www.entertainmentwise.com]

2006-05-23T11:18:00.000-05:00

This Just In:
Axl Rose claims Tommy Hilfiger is misunderstood.
Remember when we told you about Rosario Dawson being all hot and Axl all playing for her at the Plumm last Thursday?

Well, Axl pussed out and got slapped by Tommy Hilfiger. Wait, Axl Rose got slapped by Tommy Hilfiger?

Yes, AXL ROSE WAS SLAPPED BY TOMMY HILFIGER.

According to Page Six, Axl moved Tommy's girlfriend's drink to keep it from spilling, and Tommy unloaded on Axl. I don't know who's gayer, Axl, for moving Tommy's girlfriend's cocktail or Tommy for slapping Axl.

Oh wait. Moot point.

Tommy was pissed that Axl moved his grrrl's drink, so he kept throwing punches to the rocker's face. Inside sources say that Tommy was out for blood and even tried to break Axl's legs with an umbrella from his new line of American Ex-Pats Back Return to America accessories.

It was Tommy's own bodyguard who eventually pulled him from the club. "He just kept smacking me," Rose told KROQ when he stopped by. In an interview with Page Six's Richard Johnson, he said, "I don't hold any grudge against him. I just don't understand him."

After the brouhaha, Rose took the stage and dedicated "You're Crazy" to the fashionista.

The event even forced people to choose rocker v. designer. Lenny Kravitz sided with Hilfiger while Kid Rock had Axl's back. In case anyone was confused about all the Botoxed flesh that was swinging about, Kid offered this insight: Apparently, there's a celebrity hierarchy, and Hilfiger was pissed because he's not as popular as Rose. Kid claims that this "food chain" begins with "mere mortals" and works up to sports icons. "After that it's movie stars, then rock stars, then Michael Jordan." Hilfiger is higher than a mere mortal but lower than Axl Rose.

There is speculation that this was more than a random brawl between Who's Who on the Hollywood D-List. Apparently, Axl's dating Hilfiger's adopted brother's ex-wife. HOMOSAYWHAT?

"The combatants have been at odds since Rose started dating Diane O'Connor, the ex-wife of Hilfiger's adopted brother, denim designer Michael H," Johnson explains.

Personally, I think this was a case of straight-up jealousy. Hilfiger just sold his Khaki Kingdom for $1.6 billion and is clearly jealous of Rose, especially of his resurgence, his killer braids, and the about-to-be-released- sure-it'll-kick-ass-I- swear-it'll- come-out-and-go- straight-to-number-one Chinese Democracy. What does Hilfiger have anymore? NOTHING.

But it was this gem that made the night pure magic: "Kid Rock got trampled by people running over. It was unbelievable," says one source, via Blabbermouth.

Too bad he wasn't doing Scott Stapp at the time.

[Sources: http://www.nypost.com/gossip/pagesix/pagesix.htm
http://www.roadrunnerrecords.com/blabbermouth.net/news.aspx?mode=Article&newsitemID=52546]
[Photo courtesy of: http://www.entertainment-news.org/breaking/41752/tommy-hilfiger-wrapped-up-in-takeover.html]

2006-05-19T13:05:00.000-05:00

Rosario Puts the Rose Back in-- eh, fuck this shit
So Blabbermouth, my go-to-guys for all things Axl, got word that last night, Axl and company [new Gunners, not the old ones] rocked out for Rosario Dawson's surprise birthday party at Plumm in Chelsea.

Apparently, the fest was star-studded, if you consider the likes of C-Listers Mickey Rourke and Eric Balfour studs. I prefer to think it was a pitch for the newest season of the "Surreal Life," but what do I know?

Axl was there with Dizzy and the crew - and naturally, Del James was in tow, riding Axl's coattails and most likely telling everyone in sight that he penned a little collection called The Language of Fear years ago, it's out of print, and why don't you suckers go buy it?

[Caveat: This sucker did. It's as every bit tripe-tastic as one would expect from a douchebag named Del James, but I digress].

The show was an intimate, kareaoke-style acoustic one, with the lyrics to the songs on a projector behind Axl himself. They split up the three "November Rain" solos, giving Bumblefoot the finale, but the solos stayed acoustic for a pretty kickass hollow sound.

Still, it's no Slash next to a church.

At the end of the set, Axl brought out Rosario, who tore shit up, screaming into the mic, "THEY'VE NEVER PLAYED ALL ACOUSTIC, THIS IS HISTORY IN THE MAKING, HOW MUCH DOES THIS MAN FUCKING ROCK!?"

Yet another reason to love Rosario Dawson. Plus she's hot as shit.

[Photo courtesy of: www.keebler.net]
[Source: http://www.roadrunnerrecords.com/blabbermouth.net/news.aspx?mode=Article&newsitemID=52498]

2006-05-19T12:45:00.000-05:00

Where's Izzy?
First off, FUCK MAHMOUD AHMADINEJAD*.

Okay, so on Wednesday, the last night at the Hammerstein, Axl pulled out all stops when Izzy Stradlin returned for three classics: "Think About You," "Patience," and "Night Train."

Axl's Note to Self: Leave Kid Rock at home. Bring Slash.

Is Stradlin back for good? If so, I know a Bizz who'd love to hook up with the Izz. [Okay, so she'd rather hook up with Gilby, but I couldn't resist].

*[fuck this shit: http://www.canada.com/components/print.aspx?id=11fbf4a8-282a-4d18-954f-546709b1240f&k=32073]
[Photo courtesy of: http://www.gunsnroses.gr/interviews/interviews.htm]
[Source: http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1532025/20060518/story.jhtml]

2006-05-16T08:40:00.000-05:00

Red Leather Day
Yes, I know I've been out of it for a couple of months. Oh well, eat shit, MFers. I'm back, and so is Axl. He's been rockin' it up in NYC, though rumor has it that he's lost his fire.

Wait, what? Is it possible that someone who's taken up with former-nemesis Sebastian Bach has lost his fire? Bach can't be a firesucker - surely not Bach, who's been going at it as the Beast on the Broadway stage.

Still, they seemed awfully chummy Friday night at the NYFUCKINCITY party at 6's and 8's on the Lower East Side. He came with an entourage [sadly, Gilby wasn't invited] and refused photos. Thank God for those NY Animals - their Jackie O'Nasty gave us images to-die-for.

Okay, so maybe not to-die-for. But definitely to-eat-several-handfuls-of-salted-peanuts-and-then-fight-bouts-of-constipation-for. Which, frankly, is just as good.

[Source: http://www.animalnewyork.com/2006/05/axl_rose_practices_chinese_dem_1.php]

2006-03-28T17:46:00.000-05:00

Chuck *Hearts* Axl
The recently-axed Spin icon sounds off on the new Chinese Democracy album.

With a re-worked "Think About You" and other songs such as "Thursday Morning Strip Club" and "Slash and Burned" [guess what that one's about, kids], CD apparently kicks a lot ass, but Chuck swears it wasn't worth the 15 years.

Klosterman puts it into perspective: "If you purchased a kitten on the day that Use Your Illusion I & II arrived in stores, it’s probably dead by now."

And if your kitten's not dead, it's probably too old to rock.

Still, he isn't afraid to ask the clutch question: "Does Chinese Democracy accomplish its goal? After all this time and all that money, will this album truly bring democracy to China?"

That, my friends, can only be revealed by the Chuckles himself: http://www.spin.com/reviews/magazine/2006/03/060323_gunsnroses/

[photo courtesy of www.noisemarketing.com/simonandschuster/klosterman/ForumIcons/Chuck_275x275.jpg]

2006-03-17T10:17:00.000-05:00

KORN Plays Cemetery
In a bizarre ode to Rob Zombie that --let's face it-- only Rob Zombie could pull off, rockers KORN threw a raucous party in a Hollywood cemetery.

KORN threw the party to announce that their seventh album, "See You on the Other Side," just plain ROCKS! And they thought, "Why should the living be the only ones who get to hear it?" Those boys - always looking out for others.

When the El Paso Observer spoke with James "Munky" Shaffer recently, they asked, "Were you excited to see Axl Rose at your cemetery party?"

Shaffer replied, "He's a legend. Out of all the cemeteries in Los Angeles he came to ours."

That's right he did. Because Charlie Manson's not dead yet.

[link to the Charlotte Observer: http://www.charlotte.com/mld/observer/entertainment/14119670.htm]

[photo courtesy of: http://www.rootsweb.com/~usgenweb/wi/cemetery/lafayette-gratiot.html]

2006-03-17T10:00:00.000-05:00

Axl and Lindsay Make Out
Er, well, we haven't gotten proof of it just yet. But we do know that they did run into each other at NYC's Butter last night, thanks to the NY Daily News' in-depth reporting.

But really, who wouldn't want to make out with that? --->

[link to the NYDN's Front Page: http://www.nydailynews.com/front/story/400478p-339225c.html]
[photo courtesy of: http://www.liquidgeneration.com/blog/2005_09_01_archive.html]

2006-03-16T13:47:00.000-05:00

Helsinki Says 'Hell Fuckin' Yeah!'
The tour kicks off this May in Lisbon, but it's Helsinki that's feenin' for some Axl.

Lippupalvelu, the Finnish ticket retailer [but you knew that already], said on Monday that the July 5 Gn'R show sold out in eight minutes.

Apparently, many fans were left waiting in line, pining for their tickets to the Gun Show. Poor Tuomas was so upset that he read voraciously.

[Holy crap, Tuomas! I almost shot you - clever camo, buddy].

Seriously, dude, cheer up. Buying the tickets is only half the battle - what are the chances that Axl will actually show?

[from Blabbermouth: http://www.roadrunnerrecords.com/blabbermouth.net/news.aspx?mode=Article&newsitemID=49558]
[pic courtesy of: www.sawdoctors.com]

2006-03-14T18:38:00.000-05:00

My Apologies to Richard Johnson
Apparently, Page Six DID know where Axl was - wiping spittle from his contact lens.

In his column on March 12, Johnson wrote:

"The fascinatingly mercurial GUNS N' ROSES frontman [Axl Rose] fled club Stereo late Thursday night after a drunken fan inadvertently spat in his eye. Axl, sporting braids in a ponytail and looking puffy in a white sweater, was tolerating the sloppy dude's boozy line of questioning until some spittle landed on his contacts. 'Axl started yelling, 'My [bleep]ing eyes! My contacts,' reports our spywitness. 'He became irate. He ran out of the club with one eye closed and knocked over Stephon Marbury on his way out the door. He left his whole entourage behind.' The eye-closing experience was the final stop of the night for the easily enraged Rose."

There were no accompanying photos, but I imagine it looked something like this.

Is it wrong to think Axl deserves props for not strangling the guy with an extension?

Aw, Kids, I think our boy's growing up quite nicely.

[photo courtesy of: http://www.esmas.com/espectaculos/musica/376644.html
The New York Post's Page Six column courtesy of Blabbermouth: http://www.roadrunnerrecords.com/blabbermouth.net/news.aspx?mode=Article&newsitemID=49481]

2006-03-14T18:06:00.000-05:00

Axl in La La Land
Well, in the L.A. airport* this weekend, at the very least.

What I want to know is who dressed him, Mary-Kate? Honey, Hobo Chic is as over as pomegranate juice and laxatives. Get with it.

Still, I guess it is better than a catcher's uniform. Or that Charlie Manson graphic tee.

Holy crap, is that a toolbox at his feet!? Good to know that in the event an airplane bolt pops loose, Axl'll be there to screw it back in.

I hope to god it was Tom Ridge's idea to give Axl that toolbox - if only to make my life a little more perfect.

*says this mobile phone photographer extraordinnaire, courtesy of Splat: http://www.sp1at.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=223&Itemid=99999999

2006-03-14T09:14:00.000-05:00

Why Do You Look at Me if You Hate Me?
It's been a week since Axl filed suit against former Gn'R bandmates Slash, Duff, and Matt [apparently Gilby doesn't count?], in which he accused them of making “negative and malicious statements about [him in the press] in order to garner publicity" as part of "a vindictive attempt to aggrandize their own stature, [and] rewrite history through false statements."

And according to that pinnacle of journalism, MTV, gunner Axl also said that Slash had told him, "'Duff was spineless,' 'Weiland was a fraud,' and that he 'hates Matt Sorum.'" [I think it's a pretty safe bet that Carson Daly yelled 'Snap!' at that 'spineless' comment].

And this, just weeks after Slash nearly wet himself on British radio about how he couldn't wait for Axl and the new Guns N' Roses to finally release Chinese Democracy - this year.

According to the statement written by Axl and his lawyer Howard Weitzman [I think we'll be seeing that name a lot], they claim that Slash and Duff continue to offer "ever changing and false stories" about the group's roots and that the Velvet Revolver members want to commercially exploit Gn'R hits - including "Welcome to the Jungle," "Paradise City," and "Sweet Child O' Mine" - "as if it were fast food by anyone willing to pay for it."

I don't know about you, but I know that if I saw a fast food commercial featuring "Welcome to the Jungle," I'd eat it.

But only pussies take this lying down, and Weiland is no pussy [caveat: Scott Weiland and I have been connected ever since that 2000 STP show when my friend Loaf and I shoved our way to the front row of the pit in time to sing "Sex Type Thing" into his mic and groped his chest].

In retaliation, Weiland has posted a letter on Velvet Revolver's website, which allegedly [my work internet blocks www.velvetrevolver.com, go figure] reads:

“Get in the ring. Go to the gym motherfucker, or if you prefer, get a new wig motherfucker. I think I’ll resist the urge to stoop to your level. Oh shit, here it comes, you fat, botox faced, wig wearin fuck!

O.K. I feel better now.

Don’t think for a second we don’t know where those words came from. Your unoriginal, uncreative little mind, the same mind that had to rely on its bandmates to write melodies and lyrics. Who’s the fraud now bitch?

Damn, I couldn’t imagine people writing for me. How many albums have you put out man and how long did it take the current configuration of this so-called band to make this album? How long? And without the only guys that validated the name. How dare you! Shame on you! How dare you call our bass player spineless? We toured our album over a year and a half. How many shows have you played over the last ten years? Oh, that’s right - you bailed out on your long awaited comeback tour, leaving your remaining fans feeling shall we say a trifle miffed?!

I won’t even list what I’ve accomplished because I don’t need to. What we’re talking about here is a frightened little man who once thought he was king, but unfortunately this king without his court is nothing but a memory of the asshole he once was.

Yours truly Scott Weiland”

Sounds like Weiland has his next number one penned and ready.

[get the dirt: http://www.gigwise.com/news.asp?contentid=14569
http://entertainment.tv.yahoo.com/entnews/eo/20060307/114178680000.html
http://www.starpulse.com/news/index.php/2006/03/13/scott_weiland_unleashes_on_axl_rose]
[photo courtesy of: http://www.lt24online.com.ar/2004news/01/27b.html]

2006-03-13T17:33:00.000-05:00

Where's Axl?
a. Fishing for trout in Montana wearing Jeff Bridges' "Starman" suit that he bought on eBay.
b. Wrestling Loni, the local bartender from Mitchell who could've been a Coors twin if she'd been a twin, in a big vat of lime Jell-o.
c. Discussing the intricacies of Corey Feldman's "Pico the Woodworm" character over a cup of coffee with Art Clokey.

Look, I don't know where Axl is. Neither does Page Six. And I guarantee Scooter Libby hasn't a clue. All I know is I miss Axl and his screwball antics.

And I know I'm not the only one.

Sure, W. Axl Rose was an ass. Yes, he got into lots of trouble with the law. And he certainly has said things that even I can't condone, let alone defend.

But the dude could rock. And frankly, a world that honors 3 Doors Down as a hard rock group and produces Scott Stapp as the next great sex symbol is no place I want to live. Where's Axl? Who doesn't want to know?

This site is dedicated to all things Axl - his videos, his whereabouts, his eccentricities, and perhaps - just perhaps - his genius. I promise to give you all things Axl, all things Gn'R... unless I get bored and write about things not-Axl-related [ie: sharks, pierogies, Wyld Stallion, Amy Sedaris, the wedge heel]. You'll just have to tune in every day* and see. As long as this crafty cat eludes the public, our site is gonna stick around. Which means I, like you, hope our waifish redheaded icon reappears and we can stop asking the question.

Where the f*#k is Axl?
In your soul, Friend. In your soul.

-kb

*Note: By no means do I plan to publish updates every day.

[sketch by Danny Filippone from: http://www.treelink.com/flippart/macros/macro_illustrations.htm]