Where's Axl?

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Didgeridoonas Wouldn't Have Exploded
An inside source to the Didgeridoonas' Australia can cooler company tells WA? that the products are made of "tough padded canvas" with a "neat leather strap," to keep beverages cool, refreshing, and intact.

The company, which has been losing money due to anti-beer and anti-leather advocates worldwide, plans to capitalize on the recent can-throwing debacle that occurred in Brisbane. GNR frontman and soon-to-be spokesperson for the NutriSystem-HairTrade merger, Axl Rose, was pelted with a can of Australian something - kanga piss, aboriginal blood, whatever - after arriving late to his show on Monday. Halfway through "Welcome to the Jungle," an irate fan threw his can of something onstage, which exploded and sprayed Axl's chest with hot, sticky... kanga piss, aboriginal blood, whatever.

Axl responded by asking a question, "Is that what you want? You want a battle. If you're going to act like that, then you know I don't have to be here," according to Contactmusic.

Um, buddy, I don't think they really want a battle, per se... I mean, kanga piss, though nasty, is no WMD. Nope. Something tells me they just want to listen to $150 worth of songs, which, given that your album costs about $10, means that they have a right to fifteen albums' worth.

Hmm... doing the math, that means... wait, when is Chinese Democracy coming?

Score zero for Axl.
Score the company's entire '05 budget for Didgeridoonas' Australia can cooler company.

Those dudes are marketing geniuses.

[Source: http://www.dailyindia.com/show/152188.php/Axl-Rose-sees-red-after-fan-throws-drink-at-him!
Photo courtesy of: http://www.ptarmiganclothing.com/images/products/69_s_can%20cooler.jpg]

Friday, June 22, 2007

Axl Gets Made
Axl Rose, the World's Biggest "Sopranos" fan, reportedly requested HBO send him copies of the last three episodes while touring overseas.

When WA? asked Axl his thoughts about the finale, he said, "Dude, 'course Tony got made. I fuckin' did it." Then he growled with laughter and handed us a bust of Tony Soprano fashioned from several pairs of bike shorts and a catcher's mask.

[Courtesy of: http://www.thegauntlet.com/article/172/9030/Guns-N-Roses.html
Photo courtesy of: http://www.gunsnroses.us/news/article.php3?id_article=45]

I Rotate Axl's Tire
Or rather, I wish I did.

On June 12, Rose kicked off his GNR world tour in Perth, Australia, where he donned a pair of knickers, tore off his shirt, and dedicated the night to former AC/DC frontman Bon Scott.

Then I spanked his belly.
Oh wait. That was just a dream.

Little known fact: in addition to being a huge fan of Scott's, one of Axl's favorite songs is "I'm Not in Love" by 10 CC's.

Take it for what it is.

[Courtesy of: http://93x.com/blog.asp?id=422364&SBID=4444]
[Photo courtesy of http://93x.com/blog.asp?id=422364&SBID=4444]